Board member, Darlene Vela, shares her thoughts on an article she read titled, How to Talk to People Even if You Disagree” which was featured in Reader’s Digest June 2022 edition. She writes:
In a world with many religions, cultures, habits, and ways of doing things, there are bound to be disagreements between people. But, how do you stay engaged in a conversation when you disagree with someone? How can you disarm your beliefs so you can actively listen, pause, and maybe take something away from a conversation that feels far from your truth? Is there a way to honor your truth but be open-minded to different perspectives?
When you disagree with someone, it’s common to want to defend your point of view or possibly fall into a trap of listening only to respond. But Monica Guzman (from her book, “I Never Thought of it That Way”) brings back conversation etiquette to her readers. She shares that when we disagree with others, we need to stay curious and ask questions. Not only for the reason of respect between neighbors but also because each of us has a unique way of seeing the world! And if we could get insight into that perspective, it may just teach us something or at the very least cause us to see something in a different light. Here are my favorite tips from her article that teaches us how to talk to people when we disagree:
“When you want to explore why they’re wrong, explore instead what you’re missing. When you want to determine whose view wins, determine what makes each view understandable. When you want to know what their problem is, try to know what their concerns are.”
You can read more of Monica’s perspective and pointers in her article linked here. I hope these words are useful to you as they have been for me. Building bridges between people is a mission of the Interfaith Council and reaching more minds while learning from different perspectives is what makes this life so rich and meaningful. Stay curious across the divides, my friends.
Peace and love to you,
Darlene